Memories, and all things eternal..

Kubler – Ross on her book on ‘death and dying’ describes the various stages of death – What begins with denial, is followed by anger, bargaining, depression and death. In my opinion, this holds true for all those who are close to that person too. We may go through these stages either prior or after the loss of that person, depending on how much time we have had to process it.

I am no expert but I think we perceive the loss of a person differently during different stages in our life and it is intermingled, may be with what is happening in our life at that point as well. But something that comes across regardless of age is the gap – the glaring gap in your life which that person filled. Funny and sad how we value the person more and understand the importance of that person more when they are no longer around. For me, the loss of my grandparents has been significant – I did spend much of my childhood with them, but now I find myself hanging on to every word, an ordinary incident that is a treasured memory, a sarcastic retort that is popular at every family gathering today, and idiosyncrasies that we associated with that person, are remembered with fondness and love today.

When I am in a deep stage of grief and regret – thinking about the ‘should haves’ – I should have spent more time, talked more, the list is endless I think. Unfortunately, it is too late and somewhere along the line, we realize it. But then – sometimes I forget that a part of them lives on – in our hearts, yes. But also,  through their daughters and sons. l smile every time I see a flash of stubbornness in my sister that is so characteristic of my grandmother; an uncle who is the spitting image of my grandfather; the calm and composure of my dad that is so reflective of his father; when I listen to a cousin sing like my grandmother; every time I see Mom exhibit the solution to all problems – a smile and soothing words, just like my grandmother! I hope there is a little bit of all my grandparents in me and that it stays that way. So yes, we do have something to be grateful for! This is my shout out to everyone to open your eyes and really look – Our loved one may not be around today and nothing can change that, but a little bit of them lives on in each one of us, and maybe, just maybe, the day may seem a bit brighter. 

The real issue!

My Facebook Page, at a glance, represents a scene of myriad emotions. While there are some who having started praying for good weather; others for consistent performances from Indian players; and there are even those who are 'bleedin blue'; there is a set of audience which is clinically weighing India's chances tomorrow at the face - off, with our 'arch rivals Pakistan', as media describes it. Unfortunately, there are also those who have taken to demeaning the opposite side and downplaying their abilities and skills. Before I go further, I should perhaps mention that yes, I too, am one amongst this crowd -  My heart skips a beat every time a tail - end batsman lifts his bat to hit the ball high and I get the feeling it's not going to go the distance!

As Rahul Bose said in a speech recently, "We are all cricket selectors first; and then engineers, doctors, chartered accountants, etc". Somehow this statement was so profound and meant so much to me! We are so pro - active when it comes to voicing our opinions about something we are so passionate about like cricket, I wonder why we remain silent when women are raped and mauled everyday, and when we all know that terms like, 'child marriage' and 'human trafficking' are very much a reality today in India. Why are we not so vociferous about these? Why do we turn a blind eye and pretend like it doesn't exist or don't care about it until it happens to one of us , or someone we know, and sometimes, even not then?

When a country of 1.2 billion individuals stands behind and cheers on a team of eleven young men to battle it out on a cricket field and turn out in thousands and shout themselves hoarse - When we place so much trust and confidence on people we don't know or have met in person, why do we not have the confidence or the guts to stand up and give voice to the burning issues in India?

On a sidenote, I hope India wins tomorrow! :)

The unanswered questions in my life.

Why?

Why doesn’t every story have a happy ending?

Why does one have to go through heartbreak to reach the other side?

Why do we love money so much that it clouds the important things in life?

Why do we realize in college that the friends we had in school were the best... they don’t make them like that anymore

Why are our days filled with worries, our nights with regrets?

Why are we never thankful for what we have and take our blessings for granted?

Why does everyone think twice before helping another?

Why do we have inhibitions?

Why are we judgmental and prejudiced?

Why do we let a trivial thing like colour separate us?

Why is it that lakhs of men have lost their lives protecting what- 500 sq.km of land?

Why do we fall in love with the wrong people?

Why do we argue about the past and worry about the future in the present?

Why do we have such big egos that the word sorry is not part of our vocabulary anymore?

When did we last watch the sun set?

When was the last time you made coffee for your mom? 

When did we last ask our parents if they need or want anything?

Why do I sleep so much?

Why? 

The life of a physio :)

Yes, it has been quite some time since I have shown my face here, for more reasons than one. Right now the reason being that I have too much work to do and too little time to blog. Today is one of the rare Sundays where I find myself lazing around at home without anything to do. Hence this-
Well, for those who are not updated to my current status (No, I haven’t eloped), I have finally finished my Bachelors and am now a full-fledged physiotherapist. For the past month or so, I have been treating patients both at clinic and home (theirs, not mine)- the latter being for those who can’t make it to the clinic and require home care.
I was initially very uncertain, skeptical rather at how home care would work out.
Right now, all I can say is I have a blast!:) Not literally, but these people can actually get me on a high and take me through the day smiling stupidly at everyone! I mean, the hospitality is stunning! Just because I had gone to see a patient on Vishu (New Year for me), they ended up feeling so bad, that I was not even allowed to examine the patient until I had had obattu (poli/sweet chapathi, with ghee) and coffee and sat around chatting with everyone ;) All my patients are SO co-operative that they have given me the by to come and go as I please, any time of the day! I shamelessly have taken them at their word and have landed up as early as seven in the morning once or twice ( After asking them if it’s ok) Thankfully, I have not got mistaken for the milkman (yet).
I don’t know if it’s my personal charm (**preen**) or luck- to have found all these nice people who insist on giving me breakfast; people who were strangers 10 days ago and tomorrow you are invited for weddings in their family, or who, today, call me their friend and not therapist!
Yes, despite the long hours, despite the endless travelling in the heat, despite all the things that go wrong every day, I LOVE my job :) :)

Life sucks sometimes :(

After a long day at work, I was cribbing to a friend about how I am overworked and underpaid (not paid actually), when he asked me why I was cribbing when I liked what I was doing.
Well, that got me thinking-

Who likes working in hospitals?
Who likes watching patients suffer in agony and cry out in pain? Even worse- when you are the one making them cry out …
Who eagerly awaits the time when you have to talk to anxious relatives, and console them when they are moved to tears.
Who likes saying- he may get better… or not… It may take time… We don’t know when…. Well, it sucks!
It sucks to have questions thrown at you when you don’t have the answers.
It sucks that you have put in more than your best and still it’s not enough.
It sucks that some one your age is just lying there, on that bed, waiting for it to happen.. praying that today might be ‘the day’ when he might start to get his limbs back, start moving, or even start feeling them; when you are prancing around the world…
It sucks that life is just really unfair sometimes, and for people who don’t deserve it; when there are loads of shitty people just living it up!

The NRI- Non Recognisable Indian :) :)

"It's HOT! I'm getting steamed", said Sam [alias Swaminathan]. These were his first words as he landed at Chennai airport. One would not think that Swaminathan, rather Sam hails from our very own Chennai!

An engineering graduate from a local college here, who later went on to "foreign parts" to continue his studies and did exceedingly well, is now 'flying home' to pay a 'flying visit' to his kith and kin. I, a mere bystander in the entire duration of his visit, was given cause to wonder at the so called terrible and pathetic state of shambles that our country was supposedly in. The pollution, heat, narrow roads, traffic congestion, senseless autodrivers- these were the vices of ours, which gradually became a refrain in the days to come. If Swaminathan had managed to survive and moreover revel in his first 25 years here, why is the same situation 'unbearable' for Sam?

The frequency and the intensity of Sam's complaints and cribbing increased initially frustrating the poor soul at the receiving end, causing him to retaliate in defense, but as with time the complaints took a turn towards the ridiculous, the entire scene just turned comical!

At the end of the day, rather at the end of Sam's visit, one wonders-
Have the luxuries of the West taken precedence over the feeling of belonging one has when in India?
Do the liberal ways of the yonder have a better hold on our 'NRI's when compared to the tradition and culture they have grown up with?
Can pizzas and MacD Burgers replace Home-cooked food.....

Crazy Indian Video!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZA1NoOOoaNw


This video is a definite winner!!! Guaranteed to have you in whoops of laughter :)

PS: Credits for passin me the link go to Reynah/ Sribharath :D

DEEPEST FEAR ABOUT GROWING OLD…..

Being twenty and eternally high on life, old age should be but a faraway thought to me. But for some unknown reason, I find myself having a tendre for the old and infirm. It’s almost impossible for me to understand how a man will feel post 60- when all of a sudden, he is relegated to the back of the family, and becomes just another mouth to feed. I know I sound a bit melodramatic, but this situation in its essence, is a reality today- how ever much we try to turn a blind eye to it. The sheer number of old age homes and retirement centers burgeoning every day is a reflection of what the scenario is like today. How is it that today- own children forget to accord their parents even an iota of the respect and comfort they deserve in the evening of their lives!

It’s quite incomprehensible how a child can desert his parents- when for the first time in their lives probably, they look to their son/daughter for support. These, mind you, are the same two people who pandered to our every whim, helped us take our first steps, taught us the ABC of life; they- who were always there-night and day- for us, and then did the hardest- Let go…

….Let go of us; to give us enough freedom to make a mark, find our identity;Let us make our mistakes and learn- with a costant prayer on their lips. I can undoubtably state that our parents are the only two beings who will never have any selfish motives as far as their offspring is concerned. And to this shower of love and affection- you reciprocate by forgetting them as soon as you realize that they are of no more of use to you.

If this is what being modern is- I would rather be backward and
unsophisticated!
If progress means to put your parents in Home and then forget them, I quite prefer the old, rustic way of living!!
If this is our way of proclaiming to the West that we too have ‘arrived’, I wish we had never set upon the journey!!!

MOUS(DE)TACHE :)

I recently came across this article of a policeman getting an award for sporting the longest moustache. Since time immemorial, the "moustache" has been associated with the typical arrogance of a man- the 'take-charge, menacing, won't listen to others, fiery temper" type of men.On the other hand, the clean-shaven look is sure to be a hit with all ages- you are in turns apprachable and effable with the tiny tots, cute (read sexy) with the ages that matter and appear obedient and nice to the old. A french beard or a goatee is acceptable depending on the company you keep and the occasion :P.
Of course, the 'mush' does work in favour of men like 'Richard' of the Friends sitcom who look even more delectable with it (if possible). The truth though does remain that it does not 'become' every man. Some just end up looking a mess! From a girl's point of view, it's definitely a turn-off unless you have the looks, personality and the wit to go with it!

Moral: A general caution issued to all men to think twice before you attach or detach the 'mush' :)

Just a thought!

60 years of freedom…. Independence… Largest democracy…. These are some of the remnants of 15th august still resounding in my ears as I sit down to write.. What irks is the direction we (as a country) are heading…. . [For those of u who think we are stagnating… u morons… we are actually going somewhere]. Have you ever experienced having illusions about something.. and then having the bubble break over your face?

Well, hard to digest.. but this is one of those! If one goes by the media reports and statistics, one may be led to believe (you would have be really dumb though) that we are progressing in the right direction- It’s only when you hit the streets that reality strikes and you are forced to acknowledge the pathetic mess that we are in!

What comes to my mind immediately as I sit down to write is every second guy I know who has just finished, is in the process of, or will be {in the near future} taking up the “GRE”[Get Ready (to) Emigrate]! Brutal honesty at this juncture makes me admit that I too am one amongst the mass of “gre” aspirants!
Well, what I don’t understand is- How can an entire country be filled with hypocrites! My ears still ringing with praises of India being sung ( post 15th Aug) and the same voices today have a different tale to tell- “ the entire system sucks man” or “ I just wanna get outta here as soon as possible!”

It is but natural that all of us have dreams of exploring the unknown and having a chance to turn our dreams into reality. And for those who genuinely want to come back to their country [there do happen to be a few of this species sprinkled around :)], well- Hats off! It’s no easy task to leave the luxurious niche that you would have created in your time abroad and get back here to become just another of ‘us’- overworked and less pay!

I am ashamed to admit that I belong to the so- called “future of tomorrow” – the same who are running away from a problem instead of facing it, who prefer paying 50 bucks as fine rather than pay 200 and get a receipt in the process! And as for those who- when faced with the question of doing something for the country when abroad, reply with the clichéd “ I help improve the country’s economy through foreign exchange”… You need to have your heads examined .. I mean – seriously, what does that even mean? Anyone who has even the remotest idea of the sheer magnitude of problems we face would think twice before saying that!

We have all enjoyed life and taken what our society has had to give us for the past 20 years or so… Is it so unthinkable to spend the next 20 giving back?

Welcome to my space in cyberspace - I find myself unable to describe the kind of blog this will be/is or slot it into a genre, but the attempt shall be made to make it interesting, and I promise, it won't be an autobiography or me droning about my activities of the day and who I met... Well, I'll try at least!

VOLUNTEERIN!

MY EXPERIENCE OF VOLUNTEERING

Having plenty of time to spare post-twelfth board exams, I turned to volunteering- a long awaited wish of mine coming true at last. Through ivolunteer, I was directed to a small school in yashwantpur which catered to child labourers under the NCLP- National child labourers project. The morning, when I was due at the school, found me filled with apprehension of what lay ahead for me… as I had never been any good with kids!

But, contrary to my fears, the ensuing month was a truly unforgettable one, for me at least!! The kids, ranging from 8 yr olds to mushrooming 16 yr olds were a constant source of delight. I was appalled to discover most came from broken families, or in some cases- there was NO family! These were only kids by name. The mental maturity and understanding of the world they possessed at that tender age, was something that had to be seen to be believed. An age, which most of us went through playing, frolicking away and totally carefree, had these kids working the streets to support themselves!

One boy, who left a lasting impression on me was ravi. An exceptionally intelligent 10 yr old, with no family, he supported himself by washing dishes from 4 in the morning till the wee hours of the night , attending school also in between- all this for a measly Rs. 50 per week.

It was an eye opener for someone like me who had taken the basic amenities and luxuries of life for granted. For the first time I realized the value of money and the place it held in our lives. Each day there proved to be a new and learning experience for me. In spite of the living hell that their life was, they still possessed the innocence of the youth and the confidence that they would get their share of joy and happiness in the years to come.

Each individual there was truly that- an INDIVIDUAL. Each had his own dreams and ambitions, yet there was all bound by the fire that raged within them- the need to need to prove to the world and more importantly themselves what they were capable of.

In their world which reeks of depression, broken families and violence, these street kids have the determination to make it in life and it is this which has propelled them forward as yet another day dawns and they get ready to face the big bad world outside!

When one goes through the lows of life, one has but to think of these brave little soldiers battling it out on the streets and think- if they can bounce back to life with so much zeal, why can’t I???